Moms Helping Moms

So the most common thing I hear or see lately are memes saying it takes a village to raise a child. Luckily I have always had someone I could rely on to watch my daughter while I worked, to help with food if we were low to get me to that next paycheck or to call in the middle of the night and ask questions if I felt something wasn’t right with my child.

I read something today, not sure if it was real news or something made up but it really got me thinking. It was about a mom who didn’t have the support system like I had. Didn’t have people to help her. It really got me thinking. How would I have done it without family and friends there when I needed them.

The truth is some moms just don’t. It made me want to do something! I got a lot of help along the way and now I want to help when I can too! I am thinking of starting a Facebook page or nonprofit that helps parents. They can swap clothes (how many of us moms or dads have bags or boxes of clothes our child no longer fits in but don’t just want to throw them away?), help out with some food when someone is running a little low and need help to get to that next paycheck, can donate diapers that their child no longer fits in but they opened the pack so they can’t return them, to give advice when someone needs parenting help, to support each other!

So I wanted others opinions… do you think I should start something like this? Do you think anyone would feel the way I do and want to help? I know food stamps are out there and government programs but food stamps don’t buy diapers and clothes. Some people don’t qualify…. I don’t know… what do you think?

My Week As A 1950s Housewife

So last week I challenged myself to spend a week as a 1950s housewife to see if it would help with my anxiety and depression. So this is the list of things that my husband and I agreed too. He didn’t want to seem like an asshole by making me do any of this. Once I assured him that I wanted to do this, we went through a list of 1950s wives expectations and agreed to these.

1. Have dinner ready when husband got home from work
2. Prepare yourself (touch up makeup/be fresh looking)
3. Clear the clutter, make sure everything is clean when he gets home
4. Be happy to see him, keep the mood light and do not overwhelm him with complaints when he first walks through the door.
5. Give him at least 15 minutes to decompress. Have the children quiet and let him sit and relax.

None of these sound that difficult and I was so excited to start my week. Though as you remember from my last post I hadn’t cleaned my house at all since returning home from the hospital five days before! So lets see how my week went!!

Day One

Things I need to do today. Take daughter to school, clean bedroom, clean kitchen, do laundry, clean living room, take down Christmas tree (no judgement), clean dining room, clean both downstairs bathrooms and sweep the house. I need to go to the thrift store, make dinner and take care of my daughter (to and from school and homework). I woke up and got my daughter ready for school. I had slept so good that I didn’t want to get up with the first alarm. I got her to school in time for breakfast and since I am still taking medicine I had breakfast myself. Then I spent FIVE hours cleaning my bedroom!! None of the rest of the house got clean. I did get to the thrift store like I planned. When I picked my daughter up from school the teacher said she had such a good day that I treated her and my niece to Sonic and watched a movie she got for Christmas as a reward… well after all that work in the morning I fell asleep during the movie. I woke up to my husband laying at the foot of the bed finishing the movie with the girls. So I failed miserably today! I didn’t accomplish hardly any of my to do list and dinner wasn’t ready when my husband got home. As for my mood when I think about today I am happy that my room is in order and I am more determined to not fail tomorrow. So I am not sure that this is helping yet but I am more determined to make it work.

Day 2

Day two was in my opinion much better than day one. My wonderful niece spent the night last night and decided to wash all of the dishes! So of course this morning I got my daughter up and off to school and just spent one on one time with my niece. Then I tackled ALL of the laundry, seven loads later, I only have one more load of my daughters laundry to fold and that is it! Then I put away all my dishes away when my sister in law came to pick up her daughter. She leaned against a counter but I felt like the chore just when by faster with her there. Then we chatted while she used my husbands laptop to order some things online. After she left I wiped down the kitchen and made dinner. Then I fed and bathed my daughter and cleaned the bathroom while she talked about her day. Then she went to her room to watch Ninja Turtles (Donatello is her boyfriend, you know). So when my husband got home he found me in our room with our dinner on a tray table and his favorite show all ready for him. The smile on his face said it all. He peeled out of his boots and sighed as he sank in bed with his hot dinner in front of him. Of course in the 50s they always ate at the table but trust me he didn’t mind a bit, but dinner in bed wasn’t the only surprise I had in store for him. Ladies I also made him a large batch of chocolate chip cookies. So even though the entire house wasn’t finished I was still very pleased with how I did today. As for my depression I actually cannot wait for tomorrow! I look forward to finishing my house work and I want to surprise my husband again. I feel like I did a great job and he appreciated my effort. So could this be working??

Day 3

So today I did pick up some more of this messy house, though I am far from finished. I put on real clothes today and took cookies to my Mother in law. Then I picked my daughter up from school and spent time with her. I worked on a brand new dinner. I had everything set up for my husband to shower right after dinner. Once he finished that it was straight to bed with a foot rub and I put our daughter to bed so he could relax. I failed yet again as a 1950s wife but I feel really good. I did spend extra time with my daughter and went out of my way to do something extra for my husband who i have been kind of neglecting while my depression was bad. I failed but I really feel like I aced it. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Day 4

Today was a horrible day!! I took down all of our Christmas decor, paid bills and ran around like crazy. I didn’t get the dishes done from last night and I ordered pizza tonight for dinner. My anxiety is kicking my butt today and I failed hard! Tomorrow I have to finish strong!!

Day 5

So I finally got the entire house clean today. Everything was clean and looking good. I was proud of myself and sure that I had set myself up to finish strong… but then my mother in law called and brought seven yorkie puppies over so that I could take pictures of them for her sites. Well on the way over they managed to puke all over themselves. Seven baths… seven trims… and a lot of pictures later the house is not so clean. Husband came home to McDonalds food that his mother had picked up on her way over and I was exhausted. We spent a few more hours helping her with her dogs and talking, then kept three at our house. At the end of the day we were just all exhausted and ready for bed.

So as you can see I failed miserably as a 1950s house wife. Though I can say that I did find somethings out about my anxiety and depression this week. When I was working to impress or surprise my husband I worked hard and though I didn’t meet all my goals I felt good when I went to bed at night. I think I get so focus on the tasks that I don’t look past it to my family. The chores wore me out but when I was just finishing them so I could cuddle with my daughter or plan something for my husband they didn’t seem so overwhelming or unbearable. I think that from now on I will try to focus more on them then the housework. I have to say the women in the 50s were rock stars because I couldn’t do all they did for just one week! I did learn a lot from this experience and I am looking forward to putting my new knowledge to the test.

Thanks for reading and please comment, like and share!!

The 1950 Housewife Challenge

So I read a post on Facebook not long ago about being a stay at home wife in the 50s. It boasted about women having the house clean, dinner ready, themselves made up like China dolls and quiet children playing on their rooms when their father returned from work. At first I laughed like it was the funniest thing I had heard in my life, I wondered HOW?! Lately it seems like the dishes are breeding and the laundry is turning into an avalanche! I do really well for a while… my house is clean and running like clockwork, then I take a day off and BOOM I am so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start! I have anxiety and depression, so the second I slip in my “job” I feel like I let my family down, that I am lazy or worthless. Then I spend days in my bed doing the bare minimum which only makes me feel worse and the housework Astronomical!

I find myself in that situation once again, I spent three days in the hospital, so sick I didn’t want to move, now I am home and feeling better but my house is a disaster zone! I don’t know where to begin and I feel like a horrible wife and mother. (My husband constantly tells me this is not true) I don’t know why but today that post popped in my head, I find myself wondering how I would feel changing out of my SAHM “uniform” (sweats or jammies), putting on real clothes, completing all my chores and having dinner ready when my husband gets home. I know I need to clean this mess but maybe I need to find something different to lift my mood and make me feel like I am OWNING this!! So starting tomorrow I am going to attempt being a 50s wife for a week. I will record how I do and if this helps with my mood. Wish me luck!!

Back to the 50s (but I am not wearing a dress… that part of the 50s can stay there!!)

Putting Life Hacks to the Test (3)

Just mentioning the word lice will have your skin crawling and your head itching! Though no one wants to think about them I do have two ways to rid yourself of those horrible pests.

Coca Cola

I know this might sound like a strange way to treat yourself or your child but I have actually tried this and it does work! Pour the cola right onto the scalp, once saturated put on a shower cap and allow to dry completely. Once dry, rinse throughly (you will see bugs and nits rinse right out!), then comb hair with a nit comb.

Coconut Oil

This one takes longer but is an all natural way to get rid of the little buggers! Saturate hair with coconut oil then let set overnight (I used a shower-cap), then use a nit comb in the morning, then wash your hair. It may take a few times to wash out.

Well I hope these help, I like to use these on my daughter more then those crazy chemicals and it works just as good. You treat your house the same way you usually would.

Please comment if there is something you would like for me to put to the test!!

For The Newly Weds

I asked all my married friends for their marriage advice.

I’m not married yet but my boyfriend and I believe in being honest, having trust, communication and having a sense of humor is key.

Paige

Communication is key and being open and honest with one another

Rebecca

LOVE and Respect. If you have this two characteristics in your marriage, everything else would be so easy to work with. Because LOVE carried all aspects of life.

Leah

Best advice I heard was from my high school coach. He said a good marriage has both partners giving 80%. That makes 160% given at all times. You need that extra 60% to carry you through the hard times. He was our math teacher in 9th grade and I’ve always remembered that.

Ashli

Be kind & love them anyways!

Theresa

Although I am no longer married, I always felt that it was important to be open and honest. Even if you know it would hurt the other, talking things out and working through your problems, and wanting to make things right are very important. Most importantly, NEVER go to bed angry. You are never promised another day. Always make sure you let the other person know how much you love them even during a time of disagreement.

Angelica

If you can’t joke with each other and he isn’t your best friend then what’s the point! My husband and I are the best of friends and we play around all the time! Almost 11 years and I’m still in love!

Maisha

I hope this helps you. Congratulations and I wish you and your spouse many happy years!!

Putting Life Hacks To The Test (2)

As a married mom I am all for finding things that I can do that makes life easier and my growing list of things to do shorter! So this week I put a few “life hacks” from Pinterest to the test!!

Make box cakes bakery good

For all my fellow penny pinchers box cakes for birthdays and family gatherings are a must! Well this week I found a life back that is supposed to make a box of cake mix taste like a cake you can buy from a bakery! I was skeptical but for sake of my baking skills I gave it a chance.

1. Follow directions on package
2. Add one more egg (or two for a richer taste)
3. Replace oil with melted butter and double the amount
4. Replace water with equal amount of milk
5. Mix and bake according to the package

OMG! Y’all I don’t call myself the CHUBBY ninja mom for nothing. I was in fluffy girl heaven! This cake came out fluffy, rich and so tasty! I highly suggest you try it and I think you will be asked to make cakes for every occasion. Works great!!

Febreze Those Ants

Like all kids, my daughter has this habit of hiding or dropping candy. Which as we all know if left undiscovered for a couple days will draw ants. So this hack states that febreze kills ants on contact without making your house smell like chemicals and without being harmful to kids. Luckily this week there were no ants to be found inside so I put a candy wrapper in my yard and it does work! Febreze really does kill ants and obviously smells great! So fellow parents, febreze away those ants and freshen rooms at the same time!

4-7-8 Technique

The 4-7-8 technique is for those who have trouble sleeping. You inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, then exhale for 8 seconds. I tried this two nights in a row and I don’t think it worked. Maybe I didn’t try long enough… my husband actually asked me what was wrong because I was “breathing funny.” This didn’t work for me but you might try it the next time you are having trouble, it might work for you.

I will continue on my search for life hacks that actually work! If you have one that you would like me to try please add it to the comments. Please try that cake recipe you will be so happy you did! More life hacks to come! Thank you for reading!

Yearly Bucket List!

Every year on New Years Day people make resolutions. They swear this will be the year they stop smoking, or to drop the weight, etc… While this is fine in 2015 I decided to do a yearly bucket list! I make a list of things I want to complete in that year. I chose 15 things in 2015, now it is 2019 so I will be making a list of 19 things to complete this year. I would like to encourage everyone to give it a try!

Making Your List

Don’t put a bunch of things you know you cannot complete! This is not your life’s bucket list, this is a years list! If you know you don’t have the finances for a trip to Hawaii for a week, don’t add it! Put trip to the beach, then if finances for Hawaii come in June, awesome, but if not you can take a trip to a closer beach. I personally like to choose a couple family activities, “go to a museum,” “go to a theme park,” “take family to the zoo,” etc. Also add something for you and your spouse! “Date night,” “Romantic weekend,” etc. These things will remind you all year to make time for family and your partner! Being a busy family sometimes these things get forgotten in the hustle! The final thing I like to add and recommend that you do as well is to learn something new. Whether it is a recipe or a skill, take the time to help you grow as a person! Pinterest and YouTube are filled with DIY projects, take the time to use them!

Completing Your List

I admit there has been years that I don’t complete everything on my list and that’s okay! I think of the list as a reminder through the year to slow down and take time to make memories! I use the calendar app on my phone to remind me to look at my list and choose something to complete during the month. While going to a theme park in February isn’t always doable it is a great month to have that date night. June won’t work for seeing snow for the first time but it would be good for taking the family to the zoo. Just remind yourself to take a look and not everything on your list has to cost money. A picnic in the park is free and a great chance for family time!

I hope you will join me in the 2019 bucket list! Take the time to make a list for yourself or make a list for the whole family, letting your kids add some things they would like to do or try!! Resolutions are great, though most are forgotten. I will add my list below as an example and I will post throughout the year of the things I actually get to mark off the list. Have a great New Year and I hope you have many great adventures in 2019!

🥳🥳 My List 🥳🥳

1. Go to the Houston zoo
2. Teach the puppy a new trick
3. Start my Etsy shop
4. Dye my hair
5. Teach niece to sew
6. Surprise Spouse
7. Learn a new recipe
8. Read Year one by Nora Roberts
9. Volunteer
10. Mommy/daughter day
11. Try a new food
12. Family picnic
13. Date Night
14. Spend time with sister
15. Movie night with family
16. Go to aquarium in Corpus
17. Family photos
18. Spend a day fishing
19. Update wardrobe

Making your family traditions

My childhood was filled with fun, family filled traditions. On birthdays we would get to choose our favorite foods to be made for dinner, followed by cake and presents. Halloween was homemade costumes and a trick or treating hay ride. Thanks giving was 30 to 40 family members eating all day and napping after the football game. Christmas was a crazy time. We did love action Christmas displays in our front yard! We would dress up in costumes, dance and sing in our front yard with Santa at the road handing out candy canes to anyone who stopped. Our church would go Christmas caroling and hand out gifts at our local nursing home. Then of course Christmas morning we would open gifts youngest to oldest, (I was in the middle) and have a buffet style Christmas breakfast!! It was such a great time of year.

Now that I am married and a mommy, I want to start my own traditions for my family. I do the same for my daughters and husbands birthdays. I like to watch her come up with a menu. She is 6 years old now and while pizza and hot dogs don’t go together for one day a year… let’s do it! Halloween is store bought costumes that she receives as a birthday present. The joys of having a birthday a week before Halloween. Thanksgiving is watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade with a platter for finger foods to keep us all day and dinner promptly at 6pm. Our Christmas traditions are far from what I grew up with but we do a Christmas movie every night up until Christmas Day. My daughter helps me decorate the whole house. Christmas morning is presents and French toast. Though now I have added Christmas dinner with family.

Traditions on holidays help to shape our childhood. It is fun to reminisce on holidays past and it is exciting to include a new family member (whether by birth or marriage). Traditions unite a family. Creating your own brings a new family together and makes a stressful holiday just that much more pleasant. I look forward to seeing what traditions my daughter will continue when she has her own family someday. What are your family traditions? How has your traditions morphed since you were a child??

Happy holidays from my family to yours!!

Don’t Forget About You

Once our children are born we spend all of our time taking care of them. This is good and natural. We are raising tiny humans, this takes up most of our time and ALL of our energy. But what would you think if I told you one of the best things we can do for our children is to take care of ourselves as well!

Making time for yourself may seem impossible! You are responsible for your child’s every need, you have a house to run, maintain, bills to pay and there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day. Trust me all parents know that struggle! A parent who doesn’t take care of their needs will become quickly frustrated, are more likely to develop depression and can end up resenting all the time you have to put into your family.

The most common responses when I ask people if they make time for themselves are: “I don’t have anyone to watch my child,” “I cannot afford to spend money on myself,” “I wouldn’t know what to do with time for myself.”

“I don’t have anyone to watch my child…”

I understand it is hard these days to to find trusted babysitters. There are so many stories filling up our newsfeeds about the dangers of child care and they are down right scary! Have you thought of relatives? The child’s other parent? A close friend? A trusted family member of that close friend? If all these don’t work I will say the best babysitter I have ever used was a 15 year old high school student. She wasn’t old enough for a “real” job but was ready to make her own money. She was great with my daughter and always went above and beyond when she came over!

“I cannot afford to spend money on myself”

My reply to this is always, then don’t. Pack a lunch and go for a walk. Go to a park or the library and read a book! When you kid(s) are asleep, instead of cleaning or stressing over to-do lists, soak in a hot bath. Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to cost you a dime. Catch up on your TV shows, read, write, give yourself a spa night, call a friend you haven’t had the time to talk to, talk to your spouse. You need something that relaxes you and you will be ready to tackle the day tomorrow!

“I wouldn’t know what to do with time for myself”

Okay so Grandma (or whoever) took your child for the night… now what? First let me say this, you will miss your child(ren), every parent does. Now I have listed some things you could do but don’t worry I have a few more. When was your last date night? Go out with your spouse, Significant other, friends, or siblings! Enjoy a meal that you aren’t rushed through. Stay in and grab your favorite snacks (you won’t have to share) and watch your favorite movie! Be lazy! Parents never get the chance too!

Making time for yourself isn’t selfish. Just because your a parent doesn’t mean that you are YOU anymore. Once or twice a month having a time out for yourself will improve your mental health and that will result in a happier, healthier parent for the kids to enjoy! Plus on those rough days when you just don’t know how you’re going to get through, you will have something to look forward too. You are a great parent! Just don’t forget to be good to yourself as well!

Frilly Vs. Functional

Every new parent loves baby clothes. Getting everything prepared for your new bundle of joy is exciting and fun. Though I think mostly the ladies tend to get lost in the world of the frilly. Whether you are expecting a boy or a girl it is so easy to find clothing that would look great in pictures but wouldn’t really work for much else. My cousin sent me $120 worth a baby girl dresses before my daughter was born. I was so happy and excited that I didn’t even think about how babies really are.

Even the easiest of babies are going to spit up. It is a fact of life. While they look super cute in there lacy dress and silk bloomers once they spit up or have the dreaded “blow out” those expensive outfits are no longer any good.  My daughter took pictures in all the dresses but they were only worn once and I felt awful that my cousin had spent so much for them to sit in the closet. It is your job as parents to let your family members know that while frilly is okay and well adorable, they are better off spending their money on clothing that would work daily rather than things that just wouldn’t hold up to daily use. My daughter lived in onesies and creepers (footed pajamas onesies) that wouldn’t hinder her from moving around. These don’t restrict movement and are cheaper.

Babies move!! While newborns lay around and sleep, once your baby finds their arms and feet they are never still again, ever.  They wiggle, roll, eventually crawl, pull up on furniture and before you are ready, walk. Dresses can be downright dangerous when your baby is scooting around the floor. They don’t always learn to move forward first and their dress can move up around their arms and face. They can be crawling correctly and get under their knees and cause a nose dive. I am not saying they can’t ever wear them, just keep in mind what it is your child will be doing that day and dress them accordingly. This is also true of the baby boy ties. I know that they are mostly clip-ons but they can still get in the way of your moving child.

Clothes aren’t the only thing you have to be aware of as a parent. Lots of people like to add filly touches in their child crib or around their bassinets. Babies put EVERYTHING in their mouths!!! The pads you put around your child’s crib are great to make sure they don’t get between the bars but please make sure that they are tied tight. Babies will use these to pull on and they will roll to them and try to get them in their mouths. Just check these regularly that your child cant pull anything off or that they aren’t too loose and completely defeating the purpose of having them. Also look for loose threads and things regularly.

I am not trying to stop you from having pretty or frilly things. I just learned the hard way (a blowout in a store) that just because it is pretty doesn’t mean it will stand up to daily use on an active baby. I also had to learn (my child choking on a string in her crib) that just because it is pretty doesn’t mean it is something I need to not pay close attention too. I want you and your child to be happy and healthy. Please pay close attention and enjoy buying all the things you will need for your new little one.